Open to Growth

These days with everyone sharing their projects on social media, it’s easy to feel intimidated by someone who has a seemingly well defined and consistent style - but remember, nobody was born with these skills. Finding your own voice takes years and years of practice, failures, and dabbling in uncomfortable projects. It’s just like developing your personality - you definitely aren’t the same person that you were when you were 15 years old, and you definitely won’t be the same person 20 years from now. The person you are today is a culmination of poor choices, weird adventures, learning from your mistakes, and perseverance. I look back on old photos of myself from the 90s the same way that I look back on my first paintings: first you laugh, then you cringe. Nostalgia coupled with mild embarrassment. 

Creative evolution can feel a bit soul crushing at times. (Just like high school! I kid, I kid…sort of). You’ll be confused and uncomfortable and there will be days or weeks where you feel like everything you make is complete garbage - this time is where you might feel like giving up, but if you push through, this is where the magic happens (just like high school! haha okay I’ll stop). But really, know that if you’re feeling stuck, this is just you breaking through, chipping away to new ideas. New ideas are exciting once you find them, but exhausting to look for. Just keep going. 

I thought it might be fun to prove my point by taking a stroll through memory lane with my creative endeavors. My work right now is abstract, colorful, and plays around with the balance of bold shapes & delicate details. When I started painting in high school, I was very very far from abstract and had very little interest in it.

I painted all of the large signs for our high school musicals, and loved lettering (my parents are sign makers, so I was naturally drawn to it). In college, I took up figure drawing. I drew everyone around me on the subway, in the library, my professors in class, everyone. Then, in grad school when I took my shop more seriously, first I made the rookie mistake of making art that sold well. Popular trendy stuff. I sold my soul to the cutesy pineapple flamingo gods because I really needed money to buy groceries. Then, loosing my mind, I went full on abstract (probably getting rid of most of my original customer base) and started over. My early abstracts are not good. They feel flat and soulless but I was really happy at the time. Now, with practice in trying to refine and find expression in lines and shape, I feel much more comfortable. My work has more depth & complexity and I’m using the skills I learned from figure drawing to give depth with lines that have character. I still see problems, but I’m happy, I’m sure this time next year I will laugh & cringe. 

The moral of the story here is, you never know where you’re going to end up, so just trust the uncomfortable moments and let yourself grow.

 

To see more of Bianca's work visit here

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