The Foundation for a Kick Ass Year!
While I am all for having a clear road plan in order to get what you want, sometimes things happen. Which is why I feel it is so important to talk about learning to be flexible and having compassion for yourself. So let’s chat and set the foundation for you to have a kick ass year!
LEARNING TO BE FLEXIBLE
When you are constantly trying to control every situation even the slightest thing can send you into a full-blown panic. Guys! This isn’t fun for you or anyone around you. You are setting yourself up for a very stressful life when you don’t know how to adapt to change. Learn how to compromise, learn how to re-route!
“Nothing is softer or more flexible than water, yet nothing an resist it.” -Lao tau
Life is ever-changing, if you can learn to accept that, everything becomes much easier. Start to welcome changes as opportunities to get creative and problem solve. Growth comes from challenge! Plus change may offer you some new and exciting experience. Embrace it.
And that brings me to the next important thing…
HAVE COMPASSION FOR YOURSELF
Your plan may not work out exactly as you so carefully designed it to. And along with being flexible you need to learn to practice self-compassion. Don’t berate yourself when things go awry. Consider if you would tell a close friend some of the things you tell yourself. I don’t think they’d be your close friend if you did!
When things get hard remember that it is one moment and sometimes suffering is a part of life. Being kind to yourself in that moment is what you need. Not having compassion for yourself in that moment of suffering will not serve you.
Meditation is an excellent tool to train the brain to be kinder to yourself. Start with just 10 minutes a day of guided meditation and mindfulness. You can also start practicing affirmations or keep a gratitude journal.
STOP SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR
In order to make real and positive changes you need to actively work on cutting out self-destructive behaviors and thought patterns. Avoiding feelings and problems is not helpful. We need to allow ourselves to feel the hurt or pain (still while practicing self-compassion!), we need to observe and acknowledge the problem, and accept that this the way it is now, but it can be changed.
Commit to changing that problem. Share it with a group of people (hi, accountability buddy or Facebook group!). Place bets that you are going to change it. You are all in!
A great tool to use to battle negative self-talk is to throw in a ‘but’. For instance…
“I’m a loser, BUT everyone feels this way sometimes and I do have a solid group of friends.”
“I can’t do anything right, BUT I’m working to develop a better work ethic and become disciplined.”
I am overweight, BUT with exercise and healthy eating I could look great in a few months!”
So to sum it up, be very aware of the negative habits you have, don’t judge yourself during the process of changing your habits, and have a support system!
FIND YOUR MANTRA
A mantra is a statement you repeat to yourself daily to reinforce and reflect your intent for the New Year. It can go hand-in-hand with your word of the year. Think of it as an affirmation. You can mediate on this daily, put it on a sticky note in your bathroom mirror, set it as an alert on your phone to go off at the same time everyday. It’s your mantra!
This year I want to learn to quit being so harsh on myself. I’m actively working on presence and self-compassion. So much of my previous year was filled with second-guessing and self-judgement. I have had very little regard for myself and my feelings.
This year my mantra is:
“I will judge no one, especially myself.”
Coming up tomorrow at 11am PST in the Facebook group we will have a discussion to share our mantras! We also are going to begin the process of signing up for an accountability buddy.